In Another World With My Smartphone: Volume 11 Premium Read online

  “Oinkahahaha! Serves you right, traitors! Little shits!”

  You and your whole damn family are disgusting... There’s no way the slaves you’ve all killed could rest in peace while you’re still chattering.

  “Strike true, Light! Sparkling Holy Lance: [Shining Javelin]!” I fired a lance of light into the king’s chest. His entire body caught fire and burned away to ashes in a matter of seconds.

  “M-My bodyyy!” He squealed in shock as his rolling head looked at what was going on. I was tired of his nonsense, so I decided to put an end to it all.

  I took out a tank of water from [Storage]. Unlike the previous containers I’d taken out, this one didn’t contain holy water. It was just plain old river water.

  I invoked [Gate] and summoned several living creatures from the Great Gau River. They appeared inside the tank. They were long and thin, around ten centimeters in length. I enchanted them with Light magic.

  “What... What is that thing?”

  “Fish native to the Great Gau River. They’re called the candira. They exclusively eat meat, and have a particular preference for rotten meat.”

  “W-Wait, then you...?”

  “[Gate].” I created a portal beneath the pig of a man, and his head fell into the tank with the fish. All the fish in the tank immediately began nibbling at his face.

  “Hiagaugh!! N-No! No! My e-eyes! My eyes! They’re e-eating... Nghn!!!”

  “Oh man, they sure are hungry...” The candira were a funny type of fish. They greatly resembled the candiru fish from my former world.

  The candiru fish lived in the Amazon rainforest, and they were fierce. They were a parasitic species that burrowed inside larger fish and ate them from the inside.

  They were supposedly related to catfish, but they were more deadly than piranhas. They also attacked larger creatures in groups. Humans weren’t even an exception to this creature’s horrific menu. They were even known as the vampire fish to some people.

  I was pleased to see that the candira fish were just as horrible.

  “S-Save me!”

  “Hell no. If I spared you now, the people you’ve hurt would never forgive me. I guess if I did let you out, I’d just put you back in your grave as a head.” I watched him writhe in torment as I recalled the faces of the slaves we’d recovered from the castle dungeons. Most of them were dead and bound. Tortured, and abused. Not just the men, but the women and children too.

  My only regret was that he couldn’t feel more than the disgusting sensation of his own death creeping toward him. In a sense, I was glad he came back. He didn’t deserve a regular, clean death. I wondered if he came back to the world of the living so the dead would find peace knowing he truly regretted his deeds.

  “Ohhh god! Please, please! It’s horrible, m-make them stop! They’re... They’re burrowing, oh, oh god!” The fish had been enchanted with light, so once they entered his body they created a burning sensation. He was a Zombie, so he wouldn’t suffocate. It would probably take a full day for the fish to pick the flesh from his face entirely.

  “Think about the vile deeds you’ve done up until now. Think about it, and know nobody will ever forgive you.”

  “O-Oink! Auuuuuugh!” He’d die after losing part of his brain, since he was a Zombie. I was happy to wait for it to happen.

  I used [Banish] on every Zombie in the capital city... except the king, and called it a day.

  The royal capital, much like Astal before it, became a city of the dead. There was no way Sandora would recover. I used Earth magic to weaken the city’s foundations, hoping that the sands would reclaim that cursed place.

  The dead slaves might find peace now, I hope... I left the desert capital with those feelings in mind.

  Interlude II: A Restless Night

  “...Hm?”

  “What is it, Touya?” I was in Regulus with Lu, since we hadn’t been there in a while. We didn’t want to just head home empty-handed, so we dropped by the market on the way back. Lu said she wanted to get some fresh ingredients for dinner, too.

  Gallaria was a massive city, even by western standards, and it had a little bit of everything in it. There were all kinds of foods available, including stuff I’d never seen before.

  A variety of smells drifted around the bustling marketplace. One of these smells was one that I remembered quite fondly.

  “That smell...”

  “What smell...?” Lu tilted her head in confusion as the fragrance gently sailed in on the breeze. I wondered where it was coming from. I followed my nose around the market and finally found it. Without a doubt, it was a smell I recalled from my old world.

  It wasn’t too expensive, either. I picked some up, looking forward to enjoying it after dinner.

  “What is this, Touya-dono...? It smells interesting, but...” Yae sat and brought the object up to her nose, and sniffed it. When I found them at the stall, they were being properly roasted and sold to customers, but it didn’t smell so strongly when it was raw beans.

  “Is this some kind of... nut?” Leen looked at it with a raised brow. Back on earth, the coffee bean was the seed of a plant. It was probably the same thing here. I hoped it wasn’t some kind of evil plant or some kind of creature.

  At any rate, it was a coffee bean. I’d found coffee. I had no idea coffee existed in this world. From what I was told, it only grew in certain areas, and it wasn’t particularly popular, so not many people knew about it.

  Elze shrugged slightly after looking at the bean in Yae’s mouth, then took one for herself and popped it into her mouth. That was sudden.

  “...It’s kind of tough, and not exactly tasty...”

  “You’re not really meant to eat it raw...” I’d confirmed via [Search] that it wasn’t poisonous, at least... Given that the vendor in Gallaria was brewing and roasting it himself, I figured that it was prepared in the same way in this world as it was in mine. It certainly wasn’t the kind of bean that you just ate on its own, though.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

  “Sorry for the wait!”

  “The deed is done.” They were finally here.

  Three of our maids, Lapis, Renne, and Cesca, brought cups of coffee into the room. I’d looked up how to properly brew coffee on the internet and shown them all.

  “Oh... It smells nice.”

  “That kind of bean smells nice when it’s roasted, yes.” Yumina and Lu seemed enchanted by the scent that started drifting through the room. I personally didn’t think it was that magical, but I was pleased to smell it nonetheless.

  “Uhm... Touya? Is the drink supposed to be black like that, or...?” Hilde tilted her head slightly as she looked over the cup. She’d clearly never seen coffee before.

  “It’s a spooky black drink....”

  “Smells good... Smells good...” Sue seemed curious about the drink. I had no idea why Sakura said exactly the same thing twice, though.

  “This is coffee. It’s a drink beloved by many people in the world I came from. You guys should try it. If it’s too bitter, then you can add milk and sugar until it’s better suited to your needs.”

  “Ah... Hm... It’s... bitter?” Linze’s expression seemed a little downcast as I spoke. She didn’t seem very impressed, but I hoped she’d give it a go anyway.

  I took in the pleasant scent as I brought the cup to my lips.

  Mhm, just as I thought. Not as strong as the coffee on Earth, but quite pleasant. Oh... Maybe it is a little bitter though, we probably roasted it a bit much.

  “Mm... It’s been a while...” I brought down my cup with a content sigh and saw that everyone was staring at me.

  Hey, c’mon! What am I, a poison tester?!

  “Blegh!!!”

  Everyone tried their coffee, and they all had the same response. I wasn’t too surprised by their reaction. After all, if you weren’t used to coffee, it was a natural response.

  “Th-This must be liquid charcoal, it must...”

  “Grand Duke... This drin
k can’t be good for you... I’m sure of it...” Yae didn’t seem very impressed, and Sakura cited health concerns. If I recalled correctly, it was said that the caffeine in coffee wasn’t good for you.

  But I also remembered hearing that it promoted fat burning because of something or other with lipids. There were a lot of fad coffee diets, too. Drinking too much was definitely unhealthy, though.

  “The taste will change as you add more sugar and milk. It’ll become less bitter.” After I said that, everyone scrambled for the sugar and milk. It wasn’t that much of a surprise, all things considered...

  I couldn’t drink it when I was a kid. My father always drank black coffee, so I just gradually got used to it as time went on.

  I was incapable of enjoying non-black coffee at this point. Even canned coffee was a little too sugary for my tastes.

  “I think I’ll manage if I have sugar...”

  “The milk makes it change color, interesting... I think I can enjoy it better now.” Everyone seemed to take their coffee differently.

  “You’re amazing, Touya... To enjoy something so bitter...”

  “Where I come from, coffee is considered a drink for adults. I guess I wanted to be an adult so much that I just stuck with it.” I laughed a little at Hilde’s bewilderment, remembering being just as amazed by adults who could drink straight black coffee when I was a kid. Still, just being able to handle it didn’t necessarily make you an adult.

  “Ah... That makes sense...”

  “Hm, Renne? What does?” Renne nodded slightly as she held her silver serving tray across her front.

  “When I tasted it in the kitchen, I couldn’t enjoy it at all. But boss-lady and Missus Cesca could drink it fine. It’s because they’re grownups and I’m a kid, right?”

  Well, I wonder... Lapis is an adult, sure... But sometimes I wonder about Cesca’s sensibilities... I guess it’s just a matter of taste.

  “Ohoh... I am in fact an adult... Very adult. Today I drink black coffee as I wear black lace beneath my dress.” My stupid idiot of a robomaid chimed in with an uncalled for comment. Hadn’t she ever heard of the concept of TMI? Was she even listening? Who the hell decided that wearing black made someone more adult, anyway?

  “I thought it was delicious. I’ve tried many deliciously bitter things in the past.” I laughed quietly and nervously at Lapis’ words, desperately mulling over what else she might have had.

  She used to work for Belfast’s intelligence agency, so I wondered if she was candidly referring to poison... It wasn’t unreasonable to expect that she’d have been trained in identifying them, after all. She might have even built up an immunity.

  “I’m not really sure why a drink so bitter exists... Sweet things are much better...”

  “It’s just a matter of taste. Also black coffee is good if you’re tired, it helps keep you up. I used to drink it when I studied at night.” I shrugged toward Sakura as she dumped more sugar into her cup.

  You shouldn’t put so much in... You’re gonna have a yucky pile at the bottom at this rate...

  “It reduces sleepiness, huh...? I wonder if I’ll feel any effects.” Elze muttered as she poured a little more milk into her coffee. The sugar and milk wouldn’t actually reduce the caffeine content, so it’d probably have an effect. I should have had them drink coffee in the morning, rather than after dinner.

  Well, I figured they hadn’t really had too much so it’d be fine. Plus, I had no idea if the coffee beans of this world were the same as the ones from my old world.

  The guy I bought them from didn’t say much, and it was entirely possible that there was no sleep deprivation effect. I didn’t really care, so long as it tasted the same.

  I smiled gently as I melted away into a coffee-scented wonderland.

  ◇　◇　◇

  “Hey, I can’t sleep! What about you?!” Elze came to my room in the middle of the night. She was grumbling.

  “I mean, I’m a little sleepy, but...”

  Hmph...

  I wondered if this was because of the coffee, but I didn’t really feel tired at all.

  “You should be able to sleep if you get under your blanket and count sheep.”

  “There aren’t any sheep in my room.”

  They’re not real sheep...

  I knew that there were different levels of tolerance to caffeine in different people, so I wondered if the effect was just stronger on Elze.

  Hmm... I guess I’m calling it coffee, but it’s still something from this world. I know from stuff I’ve been through so far that it doesn’t need to follow a conventional logic or at least the kind I’m used to... I guess I shouldn’t have brewed it up without researching it properly.

  As I was pondering to myself, Elze moved a little closer to me. Her face was red.

  W-Whoa there!

  “I-It’s your fault I can’t sleep... s-so take responsibility until I can!” She was insanely cute. In all honesty, I could have just made her fall asleep instantly using [Sleep Cloud], a Dark magic spell I’d learned in the library... But the mood didn’t quite feel right for that. I was a little sleepy, but I felt like staying up all of a sudden.

  “So, what should we do?”

  “I think I can sleep if I exhaust myself... Let’s go spar at the training field.”

  “W-Wait just a minute! We can’t just go out there in the middle of the night!”

  What kind of logic was that?! That wouldn’t be sleeping, it’d just be draining your batteries until you can’t function anymore!

  “Then what should I do?” Elze bit back with a growl in her voice. I had no idea what to say... but I gave it a go anyway.

  “...Read a difficult book or something?”

  “That could make me sleepy, but... it’s boring, isn’t it?”

  That’s exactly why you should do it! Boring stuff makes you fall asleep! It’s why I slept through the classes I didn’t enjoy.

  “Nothing else...?”

  “Hmm... Let me think here. Oh, wait a sec...” I picked up the smartphone from the side of my bed and started flicking through it.

  “You could stretch... Listen to music... Have a hot drink...”

  “Stretch?”

  “Uh... You know, like moving around lightly to loosen muscle tension.”

  “I already did all those things. Is there nothing else?”

  You even listened to music...? Oh, right... The mass-produced smartphones have mp3 players.

  I wondered what there was left to do.

  “Oh, wait! How about a movie? That might make me sleepy.” That didn’t exactly seem unreasonable to me. I’d fallen asleep watching TV several times in the past. But that was basically the same thing as reading a book when you thought about it...

  Well, there wasn’t really any harm in watching a movie with her. I wasn’t sleepy, but I was down to do that with her.

  I chose a movie from my smartphone and started casting it. It was late, so I turned the volume pretty low.

  The movie started up. It was a movie adapted from a video game series back on earth, about a prince in Persia. The setting included a vast desert. It was completely different from the game’s plot, though.

  “Wow... This is an interesting one.” Elze leaned forward toward the screen. This movie had a lot of parkour-style movement in it, and a lot of high-tension action. It made sense that it’d appeal to a fighter like her.

  Thus, we ended up watching a movie together. Elze didn’t get sleepy at all, she just got really engrossed in the movie. I wasn’t too surprised, since it was definitely to her taste.

  “That was great!” Elze spoke with excitation in her voice. Her eyes were glittering with joy. It was a lot of fun, but I wasn’t as excited as she was... Probably because I was used to that kind of Hollywood stuff.

  “Didn’t get to sleep, huh?”

  “Ah... Well, it was a lot of fun...” I had a feeling she just wanted to spend time with me. I didn’t really mind, though. She could be incredibly cute
at times like this. I laughed a little when I thought of her gentle face, but she seemed to misinterpret it as me mocking her.

  “C’mon! I usually sleep like a log...! Linze is usually the one who doesn’t sleep as well...”

  “That’s because Linze is girly.”

  “...Linze isn’t the only girly person... I-I am too...”

  “Ah, wait! I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry!”

  Elze stared at me with a pout. All I could do was apologize, as I didn’t know what else to say.

  I knew well enough that Elze was delicate and gentle. She had traits that were more traditionally masculine, but behind that was a very pleasant and gentle young woman.

  “Were there ever times when you couldn’t sleep so well?”

  “Well, uhm... Wh-When I heard scary stories... But that was only when I was a kid, I swear!” Elze grumbled a little bit. I didn’t quite believe her, but I didn’t wanna tease her anymore.

  I sighed quietly, then smiled over at Elze... But I suddenly heard a noise from the hallway outside.

  We both noticed the sound and turned our heads toward the door.

  “What... was that...?”

  “I’ll check it out.” I left Elze’s side and headed into the hall with my smartphone.

  I opened the door and went into the dark. This area was private, and we didn’t even have guards patrolling... The only people around here could’ve been my other fiancees...

  There was nobody in sight. The moonlight came through the window, but that was about it. I wondered if it was a trick of the night, but then...

  “Hm?”

  I noticed something on the floor, illuminated by the light of the moon. There were pieces of pottery scattered across the floor. There was a little vase that had fallen from a table. It must’ve been the source of the noise.

  Still, it was a pretty big stand, and we had placed the vases there in a way that’d make them hard to fall on their own. I wondered if someone had bumped into it and made it fall. On top of that, I found something suspicious mixed in with the debris. I picked it up and brought it close to my eye.